What a Garden Experience Taught me about Caring for my Soul
Are you like me? When there’s a never-ending to-do list all you can think about is checking off that long list and then end up accidentally neglecting your soul care?
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It’s as though we just keep pushing through and crossing off one more thing... then we’ll feel better or think we’ve achieved success.
I know that is just a false belief for me, because it just doesn’t work – in my mind I think it does, but my heart knows better.
And it seems that my garden knows better too and is a great teacher about soul care.
Just this summer, my garden, which is my happy place, had been sorely neglected – weeds were growing everywhere because I had been preoccupied with my book launch.
As the days and weeks wore on, I became bone weary. My soul knew I needed to slow down and do some quiet, creative, connecting kinds of things to refresh and renew my heart. All for a good cause and well-intentioned – but even the good stuff can wear us down and forget to care for our one and only soul.
I chose gardening as a good first step in my soul care because my garden is my happy place and because, frankly, it was growing out of control – it was a little more than weedy, and it didn’t have much color because I hadn’t planted anything – we were already into the month of July!
Slim Picking’s
Being late to the garden center meant I got all my plants on sale. I love sales, but the pickings were very slim – I had to choose from some sorry looking plants. You know them as the “tired looking” plants. Begrudgingly I chose many of them thinking if I plant them right away and take care of them, they’d likely thrive.
Little did I know that my planting experience would speak such volumes to my own heart after such a busy season of life!
As I turned over the soil and laid the flowers along the top of the bed, arranged as nicely as possible (aka evenly balanced and color-coordinated), words like environment, nurture, care, and growth came to mind and it spurred me on to think about these words and how they related well to soul care and, It seemed to me that when we don’t intentionally cultivate safe, balanced, nurturing places for ourselves we can suffer unnecessarily – just like the plants people need to be nurtured and handled tenderly with care. Can you relate?
With any book launch where you are coordinating everything yourself – it’s overwhelming to say the least. My soul care took a back seat for many months, not completely neglected but sorely neglected from my “normal” routines. My days started early often at 4:00 a.m. and would go until suppertime, taking breaks only to go for walks with my husband and dog Bailey, attend the odd appointment, and get-together with my inner-circle people, or rest on Sundays when I’d take the day off. There was much to do and many things on my never-ending checklist.
Thankfully I’m organized and pro-active, so I was able to get everything done, on time and fairly well. There were a few hiccups, but nothing too major! My hubby stood in the gap and became main cook at the house… and of course the necessary soul care always came last, if at all.
You know what I kept hearing myself say? “It’s almost over, just a little while longer” or “I’ll do it tomorrow” and that kept me pushing through. Weeks, turned into months and slowly I became soul weary because my soul care had slipped away completely.
Do you ever do that? You get so caught up in something that nothing much else exists? What is it you say to yourself?
It has been a life-long habit for me that keeps recurring – it’s my nemesis! This is one of the unhelpful habits I need to release so that the weeds they produce don’t overgrow into my soul.
The good news is that we can hit that RESET button any time and start over cultivating a rich environment for our souls to reset, rest, and refresh.
This is What my Gardening Experience Taught me
As I got down onto my knees and pulled weeds, cut back plants, and tilled the soil I began to reflect on the analogy between garden weeds and the weed-like distractions or overgrown neglect that can grow in our own hearts.
These are some of the reflections that I had:
· When we don’t look at the weeds growing in and around us, we can’t uncover what is influencing our behavior.
· Weeds are like unhelpful habits which can infiltrate beautiful places like our hearts and our minds. Without regular checking and rooting out, the weeds can grow and take over.
· As I weeded, in behind a thick spreading thyme plant, I had to kneel on it and was surprised at the soft, cushioning it provided. It occurred to me that when the environment is healthy there is growth and beauty that can become a place of rest. And, like that plant, with continued nurture, it can continue to spread more of what it is in its environment – a safe place to rest. God is a great one with whom we can rest but as good stewards of His word, we too can become a safe place of rest for those who need it too – as long as that busyness doesn’t distract us or make us unavailable.
· As I planted my “slim pickings” plants it occurred to me how even when we feel small, weak, or brittle, being planted in a healthy environment, being nurtured, and cared for on a regular basis, will facilitate growth and beauty.
· Many of my plants were overgrown so I cut many of them back. I pulled and dug out their roots, so they wouldn’t grow back and overtake my flowers that I was trying to nurture. By cutting out what was not life sustaining made room for more growth and beauty to come.
· With such a proliferation of tiny weeds everywhere, each time I stood and emptied my bucket I saw more weeds – so I had to keep looking – more carefully from different vantage points. Looking once was not enough. Uprooting the things in our own hearts and schedule that suffocate wholeness and life required regular checks – it’s not a one-and-done activity.
· My tulips and irises had finished blooming a week or two earlier so I cut the tulips right down to the ground and the irises, well, those I just had to dead-head so we could still enjoy their long beautiful green leaves. It occurred to me as I was cutting them, that we too need to prune and cut back the parts of our life that are not bringing us vibrant life. It is so easy to get busy, distracted, or procrastinate cultivating a healthy environment for our souls whether it be in our inner our outer world socially or with our activities or even our habits of mind that don’t bring life.
· The vine on the archway to our garden was overrunning everywhere. Half of me thought it was quite beautiful and I was especially intrigued how the vine’s tendrils reached out to hang on to something as an anchor and for strength. It reminded me of humans and how we need to reach out to God and to one another for support – choosing safe connection as part of a learning and strengthening process. Connection can become part of our soul care that can be cultivated and nurtured as well. This is how we can thrive.
· God in his goodness and grace along with my little garden, my happy place, had much to teach and remind me about how important soul care is for my overall well-being.
I hope you find this a good reminder for you too!
A Prayer of Blessing for You
MAY you be aware of when you are saying… “just a little longer” and begin to push through. Instead, may you choose to take time to cultivate rest for your soul.
MAY you notice where the weeds are growing in your heart, mind, relationships, and activities that need tending and not ignore or postpone but find time to uproot even one thing.
MAY you remember God is a good and that He can bring good from any challenge (Romans 8:28), even the most difficult ones, and may your trust in God deepen in the journey.
MAY you remember to walk in the good way (Jeremiah 6:16) and seek direction from God in your decisions so that when you are in a crossroads moment, it will be clear where to take your next step.
MAY you find ways to include new practices into your life that a bring new life and wholeness through your favorite soul care activities.
MAY this become a month where you cultivate much love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control so that all will be well with your soul and that out of that abundance you might bless many others with your words.
Fern, you've got me longing for the days to come, the warmth of spring, the bursts of color, the daffodils and tulips emerging. Winter lasts long here on Cape Cod, but I'm going to keep looking forward ... even as I watch for any and all signs that warmer weather is to come and the world emerge more colorful.
I can relate to this on so many levels! Love your gardening analogy and praying you find some time for soul care these days, friend!