When the Unexpected Arrives...
Have you noticed that sometimes our normal ways of coping with the unexpected just don’t work anymore?
When the UNEXPECTED arrives … (Part 1)
Have you ever wondered what people do when facing difficult circumstances? On those days when we get unwanted news, a challenging diagnosis, or information that impacts our life in ways we never expected, it seems we just wish for things to go back to normal – right?
When we are faced with such moments – the next step “after getting the unwanted news part” seems like a tough slog, something unwanted, painful, and often totally unwelcome. We can become overwhelmed and ask ourselves – Why me? Now what?
Should we …
Push through and just try harder?
Ignore it or push it down?
Throw our hands up in the air and concede that we are on a difficult journey?
Have you noticed that sometimes our normal ways of coping with the unexpected just don’t work anymore?
It seems that when tough things happen, we need to come up with some new strategies to cope. And, if you are anything like me, those strategies might take some time to figure out, learn, and practice before they really help. Acknowledging that we are humanly imperfect and don’t always have life figured out helps me remember my finiteness and be more open to learning new ways.
The Key is to Find new Strategies and Enduring Hope that Helps
When I was diagnosed with oral cancer three years ago – facing an 8-hr surgery to remove almost 1/2 of of my tongue, reconstruct it, followed by 30 radiation treatments that would change me body, soul, and spirit – all that I am on the inside and outside – I came face to face the biggest challenge of my life. It was something I had never experienced before – a scary disease, disfiguring, limiting, and one that often has a long healing journey.
Some coping strategies I tried were unhelpful and depending on the day, or the person with whom I was speaking, my strategy changed – just to maintain an image of being strong! That is until I realized that I needed to upgrade my coping strategies because my old ways just weren’t working anymore.
What helped me the most is when I started to practice self-compassion and hope-filled optimism. It was when I remembered I needed to dig deep into my faith to find the strength to be my own coach – my own cheerleader and live from my values through my cancer recovery.
I often reminded myself how to be a good friend to myself. With that in mind, I began to:
be okay in acknowledging the hard stuff as being really hard;
embrace the idea that God’s plan for us is to be whole (body, soul, (mind, emotions, will) and spirit) even when circumstance may be saying otherwise;
cultivate an nurture self-compassion for my journey;
recognize that I need to build some resilience and trust the process of healing and accept that it takes time to heal;
tell myself that what I’m experiencing today is not how I’ll be tomorrow;
realize that I can’t control or change my circumstances by only my responses to them;
acknowledge that I’m more than my physical body and my identity does not come from my looks;
consider what I want to be known for – my values and my faith – and learn to live from them more deeply and intentionally;
find new ways to embrace the new me – changes inside, outside, and welcome limitations and all.
And so, when I got to that place, I began a new journey filled with new discovery, and it has sustained me well …
Check out part 2 of this “When the Unexpected Arrives” ... coming soon.
In the meantime, I’d love to know...what is it that sustains you on a difficult journey? Please be sure to comment below.
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